Dependence, Independence, and Interdependence

Codependency:  A psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (as an addiction to alcohol or heroin); dependence on the needs of or control by another

Dependence:  The quality or state of being dependent; the quality or state of being influenced, determined by or subject to another;  reliance, trust; one that is relied on; drug addiction (dependence on painkillers); habituation

Independence:  The quality or state of being independent; competence

Independent: Not dependent, not subject to control by others; self-governing; not affiliated with a larger controlling unit; not requiring or relying on something or someone else; not contingent; not looking to others for one’s opinions or for guidance in conduct; not bound by or committed to a political party; not requiring or relying on others (as for care or livelihood); being free from the necessity of working for a living; showing a desire for freedom

synonym:  free

Interdependent:  Mutually dependent, mutually beneficial

Interdependence:  A reciprocal relation between interdependent entities, objects, individuals or groups


Awaking out of the body this morning, I was immediately and sharply aware of a dear friend repeating the word Independence.  Vaguely aware of Texas, it seemed that she was chiding me about not being independent.

I’m still trying to make sense of a dream that wasn’t really a dream at all.  Is something happening in Independence, Texas, and why did that message come through so vividly and undeniably during my normal sleep hours?

Admittedly, I’ve been almost completely distracted by the oil spill crisis in the Gulf, so much so that perhaps I’ve needed to be firmly reminded to resume my normal activities, both daytime and nighttime.  Spirit is determined to get my full attention where it belongs!  Okay!  I hear you!

But…maybe I haven’t been too far off-track anyway.  Dependence and independence have been constantly on my mind and in my thoughts since 1978, and this tremendously increased since April 20th when the oil spill commenced.

Two words come to mind:  FREEDOM & SOVEREIGNTY. Yours, mine, and ours.


What pulls your strings???  Is there someone or something that you depend upon that you would rather be free of???  Are you dependent upon money, the government, a church, a set of beliefs, the approval of “others”, addictions, etc?

At some point, we either set ourselves free or we submit to continued, ongoing control by someone or something other than and outside our SELVES, which is usually unfit to have control of us.  While it is difficult and uncomfortable, even painful and excruciating, to free ourselves of addictions, doing so is necessary if we are to live our TRUTH with actual integrity.

When the perception is that “I have a need for this”, then we often refuse to consider that perhaps what we crave is not only of no benefit to us, except to avoid the pain of withdrawal, but is actually what is preventing our living most fully with optimal health and well-being.

So…I have some questions for you.  Do you desire to live the longest, healthiest life possible?  Do you desire to fully embrace BLISS and experience JOY?  Do you desire optimal growth and development?  Do you desire and intend to give your best, greatest service to this Earth and all her inhabitants???

As one who confronted personal addictions head-on, I offer this:

Allowing addiction any place in your life can take every worthwhile thing from you.

Early on, I made the conscious choice that “addiction” would not be allowed in my life, in my consciousness, and in my body.  This decision was not about one addiction or one substance.  It was blanket, including every substance, and more importantly, every thought, feeling, and emotion that would keep me bound by the illusion of “need” for anything outside my I AM Presence, my SELF.

I’ve made some drastic choices since that initial one.  I haven’t owned a motor vehicle since 1996.  I’ve left everything behind, more than once.  I’ve lived outdoors, and loved it.  I’ve walked out on people I truly love, still, because they were determined to cater to their own addictions.  Their choice.  I never tried to change their minds or their habits.  Sometimes, I miss them now.  And I LOVE MY “SELF” ENOUGH TO DILIGENTLY PRACTICE KEEPING ADDICTION AND ADDICTIVE TENDENCIES OUT OF MY LIFE.

I’ve walked out of situations without knowing how I would make it to the next day.  Most recently, in November 2009, the choice was made to live completely without monetary income.  This actually launched me into a process that I’d avoided for years, causing me a brief bit of discomfort temporarily.    The result has been the greatest PEACE I’ve ever known.  Have I done without anything or experienced any lack?  Not even once!

In my experience, we can try to avoid the fear of lack, discomfort, pain, hunger, etc.  Or we can choose to TRUST THE PERFECT ENERGY OF DIVINE ABUNDANCE, FREEDOM, HEALTH, PERFECTION, SELF CONTROL & WELLNESS.

A wise man once told me to ALWAYS CHOOSE THE PATH WITH HEART!  This is not always the easy path or the way of least resistance, but it always does provide the greatest growth, happiness, and JOY!


Until next post, Namaste!


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